Introduction
In the course of human existence, there exists a fundamental division in how we experience and interact with the world: we are either a subject or an object. The subject is an active participant, fully engaged in shaping their life and the events that unfold within it. This individual consciously responds to the world, making decisions that reflect their inner intentions and awareness. On the other hand, the object is a passive participant, reacting to external forces without much control over the direction of their life. The object is often shaped by conditioning, external influences, and automatic responses, often feeling powerless or like a mere bystander in their own story.
The essence of life lies in the ability to take control of the events we face. Many people unknowingly live as objects, shaped by external circumstances, programming, or habitual patterns of thought. However, by awakening to the realization that we have the power to become subjects, we open the door to consciously creating our reality. The key to controlling the course of events begins with the awareness that we are not victims of circumstances, but active creators of our own experiences.
At the core of this concept is human awareness — the capacity to observe and reflect upon our thoughts, behaviors, and reactions. When we become more aware, we can shift from passive acceptance to active creation. Awareness is the first step in realizing that events do not just happen to us; they are made through our decisions, responses, and perceptions.
Two of the most powerful methods to exercise control over events are tolerance and flexibility. Tolerance allows us to respond calmly to adversity, while flexibility enables us to adapt and flow with change. These tools empower us to remain grounded and proactive, regardless of external circumstances, thus giving us the ability to navigate and shape the events of our lives.
1. Understanding the Subject-Object Division
The division between subject and object lies at the heart of human existence. These two roles define how we engage with the world and the level of control we have over the events that unfold in our lives. Understanding this division is the first step toward mastering our ability to shape our reality.
A subject is someone who is conscious, aware, and actively engaged with the world. They make deliberate decisions, choosing how to respond to the situations and events around them. Subjects take responsibility for their thoughts, emotions, and actions. They don’t merely react to external influences—they shape them. For example, a subject is someone who sets goals, practices mindfulness, and takes deliberate steps to create the future they desire. They understand that life is full of choices and that each choice, no matter how small, has the power to alter the course of their life.
On the other hand, an object is someone who is largely passive and influenced by forces outside of their control. Objects react to their environment rather than actively shaping it. They may feel like life is happening to them rather than for them. An object might feel overwhelmed by external pressures, unable to break free from negative thought patterns, or unable to break free from habits that no longer serve them. The object is caught in a loop of reaction, responding to situations without fully understanding or controlling the reasons behind those responses.
The key to transitioning from an object to a subject lies in self-awareness. Once we realize that we can choose how to respond, how to think, and how to act, we step into the role of a subject. This awareness grants us the power to stop being controlled by external circumstances and to start creating the reality we desire. This shift in mindset is crucial if we want to take full control over the course of events in our lives.
In the next sections, we will explore how this shift in awareness can be further supported by two powerful tools: tolerance and flexibility, which will enable us to navigate and control the events that unfold around us.
2. The Role of Inattention and Conditioning
In our modern world, inattention and conditioning often work together to maintain the status quo of passivity in human life. The majority of people go through their daily routines on autopilot, reacting to situations based on pre-existing patterns and habits, rather than consciously choosing how to respond. This state of inattention creates a disconnect between the individual and their ability to influence the events they face.
Inattention occurs when we are not fully present in the moment, when our minds are distracted, and we operate on automatic pilot. We might wake up, follow our daily tasks, interact with others, and end the day without ever truly engaging with our thoughts and actions. We become so accustomed to living this way that it feels normal, even though it limits our ability to shape our reality. This kind of unconscious living keeps us in the realm of the object, where our lives are dictated by external circumstances and conditioned responses.
Conditioning plays a significant role in this inattention. Over time, we are influenced by societal expectations, cultural norms, family patterns, and even media messages that guide our actions and beliefs. These external forces often program us to think and behave in certain ways without our conscious awareness. For example, we might be conditioned to believe that failure is something to be avoided at all costs, or that success can only be achieved through a specific career path. These beliefs, while ingrained in us from an early age, limit our ability to make free choices and control the events of our lives.
The power of awareness lies in our ability to recognize these unconscious patterns. By observing our thoughts and actions, we can begin to break free from the conditioning that keeps us stuck in the passive role of the object. When we wake up from the sleep of inattention, we can start to see how we have been living out the programs that others have instilled in us. This awakening creates the possibility for change, as we become more attuned to our own desires, values, and actions.
Once we are aware of the impact of inattention and conditioning, we can take deliberate steps toward cultivating a more mindful, conscious way of living. This process of awakening is key to becoming a subject in our own lives, empowering us to actively shape the events we encounter rather than merely reacting to them.
In the next section, we will explore how self-awareness plays a crucial role in this awakening and how it can help us reclaim control over our lives.
3. The Power of Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the cornerstone of taking control of the course of events in our lives. It is the ability to observe and reflect on our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, enabling us to understand our internal processes and how they influence our interactions with the world. Without self-awareness, we are like a ship drifting aimlessly, subject to the currents of external circumstances. However, with self-awareness, we become the captain of that ship, steering it toward our desired destination.
The process of cultivating self-awareness begins with mindfulness—being present in the moment and paying attention to our inner experiences without judgment. This practice allows us to step back from automatic reactions and examine why we think or act the way we do. Through mindfulness, we gain clarity about our habitual thought patterns, emotional triggers, and unconscious biases. For example, if we notice that we tend to react with anger in stressful situations, self-awareness helps us understand that this response may be rooted in past experiences or learned behavior, rather than a conscious choice.
Once we develop self-awareness, we can identify the factors that contribute to our sense of being an object—feeling passive or powerless in the face of external events. These factors may include limiting beliefs, societal conditioning, or past traumas. By becoming aware of these influences, we create the opportunity for change. Instead of being bound by the patterns that have shaped us, we can begin to make conscious decisions about how we want to respond to situations.
Self-awareness also allows us to identify our desires, values, and goals. When we are in tune with what truly matters to us, we are more likely to take proactive steps toward creating the life we want. We move from reacting to events based on ingrained patterns to actively making choices that align with our authentic selves. This shift in mindset is essential for becoming the subject of our own lives and taking control over the course of events.
Additionally, self-awareness enables emotional regulation. When we are aware of our emotions, we can better manage them rather than letting them control us. For example, in challenging situations, a self-aware individual can pause, reflect, and choose to respond with patience or empathy, rather than reacting impulsively. This emotional intelligence enhances our ability to navigate life’s ups and downs with greater resilience and grace.
In the following sections, we will explore two powerful tools that can help strengthen our ability to control events: tolerance and flexibility. These tools, when used in conjunction with self-awareness, empower us to maintain a proactive stance in the face of adversity and seize opportunities for growth.
4. Tolerance: The First Powerful Tool of Control
Tolerance is one of the most effective tools for controlling the course of events in our lives. It is the ability to accept and endure difficult situations, people, and circumstances without reacting negatively or losing our sense of self-control. Tolerance does not mean passive acceptance or resignation to unfavorable circumstances; rather, it is an active choice to respond with patience, understanding, and composure, even in the face of adversity.
When we cultivate tolerance, we become less likely to be overwhelmed by external events or the actions of others. Instead of allowing frustration, anger, or disappointment to cloud our judgment and control our reactions, we choose to stay grounded and focused. This inner calm allows us to navigate challenges with greater clarity and resilience. For example, in a difficult conversation, a tolerant person can listen carefully without immediately becoming defensive or argumentative, fostering a more constructive dialogue. Similarly, in stressful situations, tolerance helps us manage our emotional responses, preventing us from becoming reactive or impulsive.
One of the key aspects of tolerance is the ability to accept what is beyond our control. Life is full of uncertainties, and events often unfold in ways that we cannot predict or influence. However, when we practice tolerance, we learn to adapt to the situation instead of resisting it. By accepting the things we cannot change, we free ourselves from the burden of unnecessary stress and frustration. This acceptance does not mean giving up or surrendering to circumstances; it means recognizing the limitations of our control and focusing on how we can respond effectively.
Tolerance also plays a critical role in managing relationships. In our interactions with others, we will inevitably encounter differences in opinions, beliefs, and behaviors. Tolerance allows us to approach these differences with empathy and open-mindedness, rather than judgment or conflict. When we tolerate differing viewpoints and respect the experiences of others, we create an environment where collaboration and understanding can thrive, rather than division or hostility.
Furthermore, tolerance enhances emotional intelligence, a vital component of self-awareness. By practicing tolerance, we become more attuned to our emotions and better equipped to regulate them. Instead of reacting impulsively to anger or frustration, we can pause, reflect, and choose a response that is aligned with our values and goals. This emotional control is essential for maintaining a sense of autonomy and self-mastery in the face of life’s challenges.
As we move forward, we will explore the second powerful tool of control: flexibility. While tolerance helps us remain grounded and composed, flexibility enables us to adapt to change, making both qualities essential for actively controlling the events in our lives.
5. Flexibility: The Second Powerful Tool of Control
Flexibility is a key component of controlling the course of events in our lives. It refers to the ability to adapt, change, and adjust our thoughts, behaviors, and actions in response to changing circumstances. While tolerance allows us to accept and endure difficult situations, flexibility empowers us to embrace change and find new ways to navigate challenges. Life is unpredictable, and the ability to adapt to unexpected events is crucial for maintaining control over our experiences.
Being flexible means having the mental and emotional elasticity to pivot when necessary. Whether it’s a change in plans, an unexpected obstacle, or a shift in the environment, flexibility allows us to adjust our approach without becoming rigid or frustrated. For instance, in the workplace, an individual who is flexible can easily switch tasks or take on new responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed. In personal life, flexibility might mean adjusting expectations when things don’t go as planned, finding creative solutions, and exploring alternative paths.
Flexibility also enhances problem-solving skills. When we are open to change, we are more likely to consider different perspectives and approaches to solving a problem. This mindset not only broadens our options but also fosters innovation and growth. In contrast, a rigid mindset can trap us in old patterns and limit our ability to move forward. Flexibility, therefore, gives us the freedom to explore new opportunities and find solutions that might not have been immediately apparent.
6. The Dynamic Nature of Events
Events are not static; they evolve based on our actions, reactions, and decisions. Recognizing the dynamic nature of events allows us to see that we are not passive bystanders in our own lives. Instead, we are active participants, shaping the outcomes of the situations we encounter. By being aware of this dynamic, we gain the power to influence how events unfold.
Every decision we make sends ripples through the fabric of our lives. A small shift in perspective or a different response to a challenge can change the course of an event entirely. This concept of “event creation” means that we are not merely reacting to what happens to us but actively making choices that shape the narrative of our lives. For example, how we perceive a setback can determine whether it becomes a roadblock or an opportunity for growth. The way we respond to a difficult situation can dictate whether we emerge from it stronger or defeated.
7. The Interplay Between Thought and Reality
Our thoughts are the lens through which we view reality, and they play a significant role in shaping the course of events. What we think influences how we perceive situations and how we react to them. By changing our thoughts, we can change our perception of reality, thereby altering the events we experience.
If we believe that we are powerless in the face of challenges, we will likely experience events that reinforce this belief. On the other hand, if we think of challenges as opportunities for growth, we will begin to attract experiences that allow us to overcome them. This interplay between thought and reality highlights the power we have to shape our lives through conscious thought patterns. By cultivating a mindset of empowerment, possibility, and resilience, we can create a reality where we are in control of the events that unfold around us.
8. Building Resilience in the Face of Challenges
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, setbacks, or challenges, and it plays a crucial role in controlling the course of events in our lives. Life is filled with obstacles, and how we respond to them often determines whether we move forward or stay stuck. Resilient individuals possess the strength and mindset to face difficulties head-on, adapt to change, and keep moving toward their goals despite setbacks.
Building resilience begins with developing a growth mindset—the belief that challenges and failures are opportunities for learning and improvement. When we view obstacles as stepping stones rather than insurmountable barriers, we can navigate adversity more effectively. Additionally, emotional regulation is key to resilience. By managing our emotions in the face of stress or disappointment, we can prevent negative feelings from hijacking our decision-making and responses. This emotional control allows us to stay focused on solutions, rather than getting bogged down by the problem itself.
Resilience also involves learning from experience. Each challenge offers valuable insights that can help us handle future difficulties more effectively. By building a mental library of strategies, coping mechanisms, and lessons learned, we become better equipped to deal with life’s ups and downs, increasing our capacity to influence the events around us.
9. How Tolerance and Flexibility Shape Outcomes
Tolerance and flexibility are two complementary tools that significantly shape the outcomes of the events in our lives. While tolerance helps us maintain emotional composure and acceptance in the face of adversity, flexibility allows us to adapt and find new paths forward. When combined, these qualities give us the ability to navigate change with grace, respond to challenges with creativity, and maintain a sense of control even when the situation is fluid and unpredictable.
For example, in a work project, tolerance may help us manage team conflicts or unexpected delays, while flexibility allows us to shift our approach or reframe our goals in response to these challenges. Similarly, in personal life, the ability to tolerate difficult emotions or situations without letting them dictate our behavior, paired with flexibility in adjusting our plans, ensures that we can still achieve our goals despite setbacks.
Together, tolerance and flexibility enable us to stay grounded and proactive. By cultivating these qualities, we can transform obstacles into opportunities and maintain a sense of agency, no matter the circumstances.
10. The Practice of Mastering the Course of Events
Mastering the course of events is not a one-time achievement but a continual practice. It requires consistent effort to apply the tools of self-awareness, tolerance, flexibility, and resilience in our daily lives. This practice involves being mindful of our thoughts, emotions, and actions, making conscious decisions, and remaining adaptable when faced with unforeseen challenges.
One effective way to practice this mastery is through daily reflection. Setting aside time to review the events of the day, evaluate our responses, and identify areas for improvement helps us stay aligned with our goals and values. Additionally, using techniques like journaling, meditation, or goal-setting can help keep us grounded and focused on our path.
Over time, as we strengthen these practices, we begin to create a life where we are in charge of the course of events. We no longer feel like victims of circumstance, but empowered creators of our own experiences. By consistently applying tolerance, flexibility, and self-awareness, we unlock the potential to control the events in our lives and shape the future we desire.
Conclusion
Controlling the course of events in our lives is an ongoing practice of awareness, choice, and adaptability. By shifting from being passive objects to active subjects, we can take charge of our reactions, decisions, and responses. The powerful tools of tolerance and flexibility allow us to navigate life’s uncertainties with resilience and composure, transforming challenges into opportunities. Through self-awareness, we recognize that events are not random, but shaped by our thoughts and actions. Ultimately, by mastering these tools, we gain the power to create the life we desire and control the events that unfold within it.